Well, Christmas is over, and the time has come to return to our regular lives. But wait, we have one more obstacle to hurdle before that can happen. I am talking, of course, about New Years Day and those dreaded New Year's resolutions. Perhaps after overeating on Thanksgiving and over spending for Christmas, it is only fitting that we over-commit ourselves to begin the new year.
Actually, I have a soft spot in my heart for New Year's resolutions. January 1st rolls around, and an entire year stretches out in front of me, providing what seems to be endless opportunity. Forget all of the mistakes of the past year, and start with a blank slate. For me, optimism is never as great as the last week of December, when I contemplate how my life will be different next year.
Unfortunately, the higher the hope, the lower the disappointment when the resolutions are broken. The temptation is to believe that we cannot change, that our bad habits are immovable objects. That temptation is a lie of the enemy, for God has called us to improve our lives as we grow in our relationship with him.
Change is hard, and positive change rarely happens without deliberate commitment. I don't want to pretend that I am an expert on keeping resolutions but, as I have thought back on all of the resolutions I have failed to keep, here are some lessons that I have learned:
- Choose your resolutions wisely. Have you seen any of those television shows where builders completely renovate a house in a week. Well, you are not a house, and change in your life will not be that fast, nor will it be that complete. We cannot completely overhaul our lives in a year, so we need to focus on something important to you, rather than choose half a dozen items and spread yourself too thin.
- Know what it will cost. If your resolution begins with the phrase, "I am going to spend more time...", then you need to decide where that time will be found. The more specific you can be, the better. For example, "Instead of watching 'Survivor' every week, I will spend that time...." gives you the chance to ask the question, "Is my resolution more important to me than watching "Survivor"? If it is not, then you need to go back to the drawing board and find another time slot to work on your resolution.
- Remember that nature abhors a vacuum. This is the flip side of knowing the cost. If you are trying to give up something unhealthy, my advice is to find something healthy to take its place. Rather than saying, "I am going to give up....", say, "When I feel like ... I will do ... instead". Also, let other people know what your resolution is. I know this is scary, but it greatly enhances your chances for success. More important, it increases your chances for getting back on the horse, when you get thrown off.
- Learn how to fail. Speaking of being thrown off the horse, remember that success is measured over the long haul. In addiction recovery, it is important to realize that not every lapse is a relapse. It is not likely that you will carry out your resolutions flawlessly. That's OK. You are looking for lifestyle change, and that is often a slow process.
