October 2007

A few years ago, I had a conversation with one of my brothers and his wife who had recently become parents for the first time.  They had been talking about parenting styles and wishing to avoid some of the mistakes of their own parents, they wanted my opinion.  “We are thinking that we should not push our own religious beliefs on our children.  We are thinking that we should just wait until they are old enough to make their own decisions, give them the options and allow them to choose.  What do you think?”

I must admit it was not the first time I had heard that question.  I had always found that strategy lacking (I’m sure this comes as no surprise to you) but I had never been asked to respond.  I must admit, I was taken aback just a bit.  I thought a moment and asked them, “Will you extend to them the same courtesy when it comes to how your children treat each other (“I’m personally against tripping your sister as she goes down the concrete steps, but I will discuss the pros and cons with you and let you make your own decisions”).  Will you tell them not to smoke, to cover their mouths when they cough and wear a helmet when they ride a bike?  The answer was, of course they will.  A parent who does not do so is considered negligent.  Why then is teaching your own children about God, lower on the list of priorities than teaching them about personal hygiene?

I must admit that question haunts me.  Not just because I can feel the struggle my brother and his wife are going through.  I see the church struggling with the same issues.   As I have thought about it, two possibilities come to mind.  The first is that we really are not sure if we believe the good news of the Gospel.  We tend to be much more put out if someone acts badly than if they say they do not believe.  It is easy to fall into the trap of believing that the purpose of the Gospel is to teach us to be good.  After all, we tell ourselves, the Gospel can be summed up in the teaching, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you”.  If my children or neighbors have learned this lesson isn’t that good enough?  Why do I need to bring Jesus and the cross and their sin into the issue? 

Of course the truth is that the Gospel teaches us about our estrangement from God and provides us a way back to God.  Good works, true good works can only occur after our sins have forgiven, after our relationship with God has been restored.  When we share the Gospel, we are not offering a system of moral behavior, we are offering the opportunity to love and be loved by our Creator more deeply than we can imagine.

The second reason is that we don’t really believe the bad news about our sin.  You will see this if you speak to a non-believer about their strategy for getting into heaven.  It will inevitably involve trying to do enough good works to earn their way into heaven.  But when you ask them about the sins they have committed and what they intend to do about them, they will reply, “When I sin, I just try to do better”, as if their sins, magically disappear.  The truth is that sin has to be atoned for both in the eyes of God and in our own hearts.  Just as felony convictions must be paid for in the eyes of society, the righteousness and holiness of God requires payment.  We cannot pay for our sins by trying to do better next time any more than a drunk driver involved in a fatal accident can pay for his crime by promising not to drink and drive again. 

Sin harms us by separating us from God, but it also hurts us by changing who we are; it affects our hearts.  This was illustrated to me pretty clearly when I was working in Community Corrections.  One of my jobs was to interview those entering the half-way house where I worked.  As I talked to these men and women about how they ended up here, I discovered something.  Almost without exception, the first criminal acts were done with great hesitancy and regret.  The second act was not as difficult and so on until, after a while, it was a way of life.  I have seen it in my own life as well.  Sinning becomes easier and easier because each sin changes my heart.  I view life differently; I learn to justify the whys and wherefores of my sin, until it becomes a part of me.  That is, unless, I learn how to fight the sin in my life.  C.S. Lewis said that many times a day, we are confronted with choices that will result in our slowly becoming little devils or little angels.  As a result, each little decision is significant.  When I sin, not only do I need that sin forgiven in the eyes of God, I need the effects of that sin removed from my heart. 

So why should my brother and sister-in-law share their faith with their children?  The answer is the same reason as why we need to share our faith with our neighbors; because the Gospel is better news than we can imagine and sin is more destructive than we think.