January/February 2007

Well, it finally happened; the snow won. Last Sunday (Jan 21) we were compelled to cancel one of our church services because of a blizzard that struck Kiowa sometime Saturday night. It was the fifth Sunday in a row that snow adversely affected our worship services. One might even think that God was trying to tell us something. In fact, I suspect that is the case.

It would be easy to complain, except for the fact that we asked for it. Literally. Since my arrival here in Kiowa three years ago, we have been praying for moisture in any form (well maybe not hail or ice storms). I believe it was my first year here that many of the area ranchers needed to sell most of their herds because the drought was so severe. We have prayed and waited for God to provide and when that provision comes, it seems that the difficulty caused is nearly equal to the comfort given. Our requests were direct and simple: please provide us with enough moisture to water our fields, so we can feed our cattle and make a living. Simple enough. What we get is forty inches of snow that has made feeding the cattle an adventure. Can’t God figure out how do provide for us without making our lives more difficult?

As I have thought about this question, I have added it to the thinking I have been doing about prayer in general and requests in particular, as we have been preaching our way through the Lord’s Prayer and the Psalms. I believe that when we ask God for something, we define in our hearts our relationship with God. This may be a little difficult to understand, but think about it. How do you picture God when you pray? Some of us imagine a very busy God who loves us but has us on a very lengthy list and often runs out of time before he runs out of list. Some of us imagine a God who is already angry about our sinful ways and as we are on the perpetual “naughty” list, we ask but know that we have little chance of receiving our requests. Some of us may see God as a servant, compelled to provide us with whatever we request, provided we have asked in the proper way (“If any two or three of you agree concerning anything, I will do it”). In all three of these images, God is not one to be known, but someone who needs to be cajoled, placated or appeased. In these scenarios receiving our requests is the very definition of success, if we do not receive them, the game is over, O well, it must not have been God’s will.

If we define God as the one who answers our prayers, who delivers the goods, then we will judge God’s competence or love for us by how well our requests have been provided.  We asked for moisture and got snow, well that is good, perhaps God does love us or is in a good mood today.  We received 24 inches of snow?  Well, what a wonderful blessing – and we get a day off of school too!  Another blizzard the next week?  A bit much don’t you think?  Another snowstorm the week after that; and one after that; and then a fifth?  Now God is just messing with our minds, or is upset with us because of our incessant requests.  You see, if we believe that God is directly answering our prayers, then forty inches of snow must mean something.

If we believe that God is primarily our provider then this snowstorm is a failure.  It killed way too many cattle and cost us many more work hours than it was worth.  I mean would it have killed God to give us four our five inches of snow a week with gentle temperatures to allow the moisture to soak into the ground?  But suppose, just suppose that God’s primary job is not providing for us, because God is not our servant, but our bridegroom.  We are the Bride of Christ and the groom’s primary responsibility is to love the bride and reveal his heart to her.  At times he will do it plainly, at other times in curious ways, but always he invites and desires her to pursue him. 

I do believe that this is God’s desire for us:  to pursue the heart of God, especially when our needs are provided in odd and difficult ways.  To say to God, “I know that you love me but I don’t understand this.  Teach me”.  Opportunities like this are hard for we seem to suffer at the hands of God’s provision.  And yet we have a rare chance to catch a glimpse of the heart of God that perhaps we would not have otherwise seen.